


Desire to Sleep

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Frottage, M/M, Oral Sex, Pansexual Character, Squirting, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 18:11:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5174096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Silence was prevalent in the small hotel room, only the sound of Kyo and Kaoru's quiet breathing permeating the air. A small whimper came from Kaoru's bed, something Kyo ignored, despite being fully awake. He was used to Kaoru's noises in the night, as they'd almost always been the ones to share a room when on tour. Usually, two or three times a night, Kaoru would make a tiny noise and then go quiet for a few more hours. Kyo only knew it happened so often because he'd spent many a night staring up at the ceiling, dealing with his own inner demons as he wished sleep could come and it would not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desire to Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> For anon on tumblr for prompt fills. Kaoru/Kyo with Kyo being trans. Micro dick + vag, eating out is a plus.  
> Song[s]: "Touch" by Daughter, "Snuff" by Slipknot, "With Eyes Wide Shut" by Blessthefall, and "Creep" by Echostream

Silence was prevalent in the small hotel room, only the sound of Kyo and Kaoru's quiet breathing permeating the air. A small whimper came from Kaoru's bed, something Kyo ignored, despite being fully awake. He was used to Kaoru's noises in the night, as they'd almost always been the ones to share a room when on tour. Usually, two or three times a night, Kaoru would make a tiny noise and then go quiet for a few more hours. Kyo only knew it happened so often because he'd spent many a night staring up at the ceiling, dealing with his own inner demons as he wished sleep could come and it would not.

He took in a deeper breath and the whine came next, causing him to shift his head and peer somewhat worriedly toward Kaoru's bed. That wasn't usual in the least. No whining... Kaoru didn't whine. Yet Kaoru remained still on the bed. Maybe too still. He studied his face in the stripe of moonlight that lingered across his bed from the mostly pulled curtain, watching with curious eyes. Kaoru shivered, another slight sound, more of a broken, pained moan leaving him. This time, Kyo watched as Kaoru winced and he knew he was asleep from the way his face scrunched up just after, the way awake-Kaoru would have never let such a look wind up distorting his visage.

Kyo sighed, yawning and reaching for the hotel pen on the desk. He pitched the tiny object at Kaoru's sleeping form, watching it hit and bounce off onto the floor on the other side of Kaoru's bed. The guitarist snorted himself awake and Kyo watched him as he took count of himself and then made a horrible face before rolling on his side away from Kyo, not realizing what had woken him up. "Hey... you okay?" After all, he'd woken him up, hadn't he? So maybe he should care a little about what was going on with him.

He watched Kaoru's back stiffen, his form freeze, and then slowly, forcefully relax. "Yes." The answer was clipped, so far into the territory of brevity that Kyo knew it was a blatant lie. He pursed his lips, watching Kaoru and debating why he would have rolled onto his side after waking up. He knew the other was a back-sleeper, through and through. He loathed sleeping on his side because it hurt his shoulders and made his arms go numb. So there was a reason... maybe... hiding something. Kyo sorted through the sounds Kaoru had made and then quirked an eyebrow at the back of his body. "You know, if you need to do anything, you're more than welcome to while I'm here. I'll just ignore you. Pretty sure we're used to it on the bus by now and all." It was really the only explanation, wasn't it?

Kaoru looked like a rigid piece of wood now, at best. How it was possible to tense up more, Kyo didn't know. But Kaoru certainly managed. So he'd struck a nerve for sure then. A few minutes passed them by and Kaoru still didn't move; didn't roll over and certainly wasn't doing anything over there under the covers. Kyo finally sighed and rolled onto his back. "Look, I don't want to get up, but I can put my headphones on and turn on some music if it makes you feel better. Put the damn covers over my head or something."

Kaoru let out a strained laugh and Kyo chanced glancing back at him, watching as Kaoru rolled onto his back, this time seeing the definite evidence beneath the thin sheet. "I can't."

"What the hell do you mean, you can't? It's no different than on the bus except we're actually physically further apart right now than usual." Kyo knew he sounded annoyed, at best, but he was forever tired of the strange dances people had to create in order to be okay with one another in such situations. 

"I mean I can't. Not that I won't." Kaoru sighed, bringing one arm up and holding his basically lame hand up in the air. "This one's a total bum and the other one is getting there. I can't let it get it any worse wasting movements on things that don't involve my chosen career path. Get it?" Despite the words perhaps having been in the realm of annoyed, his voice sounded more upset than anything.

Kyo stared at the arm Kaoru kept hovering in the air for a few seconds and then offered, "There's other ways... which I'm fairly surprised if you don't know them by now. You're not exactly twelve with your first boner."

This time Kaoru's laugh was a little more genuine. "Yeah, because I'm totally going to hump the bed while you're lying right there. How about no." It wasn't a question.

Kyo snorted. "Toys? It'd be quicker, less wasted motions."

"Through the airport? Nope. I can see the look on the security's faces finding one of those things in my bag already and really prefer not to deal with that."

Kyo rolled his eyes. "So buy one here and then toss it out before we leave. Just a cheap one or something."

"Visiting a porn store with a whole bunch of fans around sounds like a genuinely great plan."

"Fine," Kyo bit out. "Then suffer in a bit more silence, will you?" 

They were quiet for all of five minute before Kaoru spoke up, this time achingly quietly. "I'm sorry. It's just been since before we left and... I don't know. I didn't like having it pointed out."

Kyo pursed his lips, finally muttering, "Get laid or something. It's not like you have to use your fingers for everyone you fuck. You can play the arrogant rockstar card or something and just get off and leave."

"I'm not an asshole when I have sex with someone. Besides... fingers are sort of required with my preferred version of sex."

Kyo pondered that one for a moment and then smirked up at the ceiling. "Kaoru likes putting it in the ass, does he?"

There was a scrambling sound and then the notepad off the desk hit Kyo right on the chest, the pad of paper flopping up from the backing to smack him just under the jaw. He huffed, picking up the offending object and tossing it on the nightstand. "Hey, I can't help that I speak the truth. You could always have them prep themselves. I mean... if it were me, I'd understand with your hand issues and all." The words were out of his mouth before he could think to sensor them for Kaoru's comfort. By the time he finished speaking, he could sense Kaoru was staring at him and he could hear the slight increase in Kaoru's breathing.

Shifting enough to see Kaoru in the moonlight, he studied him, taking in how he was breathing, how he looked... and then he pushed the covers down to around his waist, though not any further. Heat was already racing up his thighs at the very thought of what Kaoru might have been pondering. "We've all wondered it... what it would be like with one of the others. I already have the drunken admissions of the other three... and I'm not hiding a thing about the fact that I've thought about it... with you, with Die. It's your turn, Kaoru. Would you fuck me if you had the chance?"

He watched Kaoru's breath hitch and then a shiver work its way through him. He smirked across the tiny space between the beds, his fingers reaching for his sheets, pushing them behind himself, sliding one leg up and reaching down to palm himself, rubbing lightly. "Come on, Kaoru... you're already telling me without your words, but I want to hear it." He breathed out the last words, barely forming them at all. "Tell me and I'll give you everything."

Kaoru turned to stare up at the ceiling instead of at Kyo, his breath coming in faster. Finally, shakily, "I want to. Curse me to Hell... but I want to."

Kyo pushed himself out of his bed, crossing the short distance, and then easing one leg up onto Kaoru's bed as he shoved the sheets away. "Close... but not quite. Say it... say you want me."

Kaoru stared up at him like he was about to absorb down into the bed as he managed to whisper out a hoarse, "I want to fuck you into next week. I have for years."

The smirk on Kyo's lips grew as he pushed the covers completely out of the way, reaching to palm Kaoru through his boxers. He squeezed and then began to stroke him as he pulled himself onto the bed and onto the other side of Kaoru's body, where there was far more room for him. Letting go for a moment, he pushed Kaoru's boxers down, revealing him to the cool air of the room, and then - utterly without hesitation - ducked his head and took him half into his mouth, fingers curling around the rest of his shaft. Kaoru tasted nearly as he'd expected, the faint hint of sweat from post-shower, the masculine way all men tasted, and beneath that the smallest hint of something tangy. Perhaps the soap he used or maybe something just uniquely Kaoru.

He bobbed his head vigorously, moaning around him as he worked up more saliva, making it easier going on all parts as he let it slide down his shaft, over his fingers. 

Kaoru let out a choked sound and hit his head back on the pillows under him, a thin whine leaving him just after as his hips arched. 

Kyo shoved his hips back down and curled himself up over Kaoru's body, angling himself and then slowly sliding down over his length as far as he could take him. Coming back up, he took in air, and then went for it again. This time Kaoru's strangled cry was the only warning he received before he nearly gagged on Kaoru's cum as he lost himself. Pulling up, he let Kaoru shoot in his mouth, swallowing around him a half dozen times. He lapped at the head and then swallowed again, sitting up and wiping the back of his hand across his mouth.

A sly little look crossed his face as he pushed his hand into his own pants, palming his dick and rubbing, perhaps a little overly vigorously. Falling forward on one hand, he kept after himself, fingers dipping back, teasing lightly, and then cupping himself better and rubbing hard again. His hips jerked and he whined faintly.

Kaoru's hand resting lightly on his bicep surprised him... stopped him. He glanced up, finding a warm glow across Kaoru's cheeks, the post-orgasmic bliss written in his eyes. "Lie down and take the underwear off."

"You shouldn't use your hand, remember?" Kyo gave him a little huff of a laugh.

"You said you'd show me the world. Not that you'd suck my brains out and get yourself off." Kaoru motioned for him to lay back. "Now get on your back, get undressed, and let me work magic that has nothing to do with my hand."

Kyo swallowed once more, holding Kaoru's gaze for a moment, debating his level of trust with him. Finally, he bobbed his head, sliding back onto the bed and arching his hips, sliding his boxer briefs down and off, balling them and tossing them toward his own bed. His heart beat quickly in his chest as he waited. He wasn't sure on what; wasn't sure what reaction he would garner, but he held a certain anxiety for it, regardless.

Kaoru simply rolled over into a kneeling position and then slid down his body, hooking Kyo's legs behind his knees and lifting him slightly. A pillow slid under him and Kaoru eased down without a single word, without any hesitation at all, and took his little cock into his mouth. His tongue teased, swirled... it did things Kyo hadn't had anyone actually do to him and he couldn't help the jerk of his hips or the little strangled sounds that kept leaving him as he accepted it all.

Kyo tossed his arm across his eyes, his breathing heavy as Kaoru pulled up from his dick, sliding down and lapping along his slit. He didn't push his tongue in, didn't do more than offer his assistance on the outside before he was moving further back, his breath ghosting over his hole and he reached down, plunging his hand into Kaoru's hair, panting out a quiet, "Wait."

Kaoru paused and Kyo's hands shook as he gathered himself, attempting to find the words he needed to speak. After a moment, he simply tugged a little, bringing Kaoru back up to his slit, breathing out, "If... if you would... tongue there?" Not a second later, Kaoru had parted him with the most gentle fingers and his mouth was pressed against him, tongue delving into his slit, swirling and tasting. Kyo's hips bucked and he let out a string of curses, letting himself rock against Kaoru's face, knowing if Kaoru didn't like him moving, he could stop it perfectly well himself.

Kaoru lapped at him and then shifted up, taking his cock back in his mouth, flicking his tongue quickly over him and then sucking. Kyo cried out, his fists hitting the bed as he strained up toward Kaoru's mouth. He panted out a quiet little whine and then shuddered as he started to cum. He felt the wetness dampen the sheets below him and he knew Kaoru had probably gotten a facefull of it as well. Throwing his hand over his lips, he hid his little smirk at that dirty little idea, and eased himself back against the bed, shivering slightly. 

He felt the gentle way Kaoru's hands rubbed over his thighs and then the weight of the other as he settled between his thighs, the weight of his cock pressing alongside Kyo's own length. He was hard again. Kyo shifted his hand and gazed up at Kaoru as the guitarist eased down onto his forearms and slowly began to rock against him. Their lips met and he could taste the tang of himself on his tongue. His body gave another spasm at that and he began to move with Kaoru, their hips meeting in a quickly growing dance.

Pulling back from Kaoru's kiss, Kyo stared up at him, one hand going to his hair and fisting in it as they moved. His nerves were still on fire and he was sure he'd get off again soon, the friction of Kaoru's cock against his own something he'd definitely thought about before. And the look of adoration on Kaoru's face... the purely blissed-out look he had as he thrust against him. 

Kaoru's hips moved faster, the bed actually protesting their movements now, and Kyo strained up toward him, his feet pushing against the bed, his thighs trembling as he neared his own peak. "So... close," he managed to bite out, watching Kaoru's visage contort in a way he knew meant he'd just shot his arousal level up another notch with the words alone. "You're amazing," he purred out, receiving an answering moan from Kaoru. His hands slid over Kaoru's arms, across his shoulders, and then clutched at him, rocking hard against his dick, aiming for his end.

It was abrupt when it did happen. Two more jerks of his hips and Kyo cried out, warmth gushing from him as he came, his whole being feeling like it was throbbing in time with his orgasm. He strained upward enough that the tip of Kaoru's dick slipped down and when he rocked forward, he pressed into him. It happened too quick for Kaoru to realize until he was most of the way in. He let out a shocked little cry and pulled out again, thrusting up across his slit, and shoving the head of his dick right up against Kyo's cock as he lost it. Thick spurts of cum splashed across Kyo's cock, the warmth of it and the twitch of Kaoru's dick feeling amazing in the wake of his own completion.

They remained there for a moment before Kaoru was moving, reaching to the floor and dragging up his discarded towel from earlier, shifting to gently gather up the mess he'd left on Kyo's cock before it started to slide downward with the pull of gravity. The towel was shoved off into the floor and Kaoru collapsed beside of him on the bed, just breathing hard.

Kyo turned, pushing the pillow out onto the floor with his legs, and rested his arm across Kaoru's abdomen, his hand lightly playing over his hip. "I think... that was mutually beneficial." He shifted to stare up into Kaoru's face, their eyes meeting in the semi-darkness. "Felt amazing... _all_ of it." His own way of telling Kaoru he hadn't fucked up there at the end at all. That he hadn't minded what had happened and had, in fact, enjoyed it.

Kaoru's lips twitched up into a tiny smile and Kyo pushed himself to his knees. "You good now?" At Kaoru's nod, Kyo pushed himself off the bed to wobble back to his own, grabbing his underwear and then tossing them toward his bag since they were clean and he was not. Falling into the bed, face-first, he groaned a little, and shuffled his way under the covers. Once he was curled up with the pillow, he mumbled out, "Lemme know... if you need it again. ... 'm tired now." He snuffled his face against the pillowcase and then closed his eyes, relaxing as he heard the murmur of acceptance from Kaoru's bed, the vague shuffle of sheets, and then silence. He smiled to himself as he started to drift. Maybe this was helpful in more than one way for both of them.


End file.
